Remind me why You often give me the urge to write when there is nothing in my mind to write? Nevermind, don’t remind me, just tell me. I do not think you can remind someone of something they never knew.
They say that the greatest writers, the ones who have written tons of books, made best-selling lists, you know, the authors who are actually able to live off their earnings as authors, write for hours each day. Many of the stories of the great writers has them beginning their writing journey rising early to write for a few hours before the rest of the world wakes up. I’ve admired them for this and even tried it myself. Maybe my dedication isn’t enough, my drive is weak and my motivation too small. Maybe that’s why I cannot seem to rise early to eat breakfast with my husband, to study God’s Word or to get a workout in. Or maybe I’ve overloaded what I expect to get done in the wee morning hours. Unrealistic expectations and goals can keep a person from doing anything at all. Maybe I have limited myself in that way. There are probably writers who did not rise early in the morning to write, they may have taken that time to spend with God, and maybe even their spouse. There may have been a writer at one time or another who sat in a one bedroom apartment on the evenings she had at home and wrote while her husband sat across from her and did his homework. Maybe. Or maybe I’m the only one. But that isn’t likely. But I could be the only great one. I could be a great one without a story like the other greats. My story could be drastically different. Not that I was the great writer who lacked motivation, drive, etc… but maybe I’m the writer who didn’t get started as a child, who didn’t get up at the crack of dawn, who didn’t write every single day. Maybe I can be a great writer who slept in too many mornings, who had to skip writing sometimes to make sure the bathroom got cleaned before the week’s end, who wrote because she was bored or because her husband had homework to do. Maybe my story will be great, but will be different from the other greats.
My fear in being that kind of great is the lack of admiration I will receive. But then, that’s a lack of humility getting the best of me isn’t it? I hold motivation, inspiration, drive, determination, and organization to a very high standard. What if I become great when I am only mediocre in these areas? Should I not have these things down perfectly before I can become great? Isn’t that HOW one becomes great? Or maybe my whole view of this is dreadfully wrong. Maybe writing on the evenings my husband is laden with homework is how God wants it, because HE prefers I spend my crack-of-dawn mornings with HIM. And due to my time with HIM, HE will make me great. Not by my own accord will the greatness come. But through my being close to HIM. I’ve written in the past about unconscious obedience. How we must be close to God and obeying HIS commands becomes second nature, something that just happens, not something we’re striving hard for everyday. So maybe that’s how we become great too. God has chosen our talents, we haven’t. We didn’t get to pick what we would be good at, God did that while we were yet in our mother’s bellies. That’s part of the “knit you together in your mother’s womb” thing. He knit our talents together and instilled them in us. So we don’t get to choose how good we are at those talents, HE does. HE gets to choose how good we are, how good we get, and what we do and where we go with those talents.
I’m not in control.
For a disclaimer on this: If I spend time with my Savior and I become close to HIM but never write, I will not become a great writer, no matter how close I am to the LORD. I would not be putting my talents into practice. While God will do what HE pleases with our talents we still have to choose to practice them and use them.
That is all I have to say on this subject.