Failures & Facebook

I write a lot of blogs about things that I know, lessons that I learn, and ideas and concepts that I’m pondering. The majority of these blog postings have conclusions. My thoughts, and then the conclusion I’ve come to on a specific matter. What I fear that I don’t write enough about is my failures, insecurities, and shortcomings. Not that you want to know what all of those are and just how screwed up that I am and not that I want to expose everything to the whole world. But I do believe it is necessary to exploit some of these as a writer and for you as a reader.

Lately, I’ve noticed a lot of pictures on facebook. Being a “young married couple”, we have a lot of other “young married couple” friends. Naturally, we are friends with all of these lovely folks on facebook and other social networks. Lately, I have gotten irritated with all of these sweet people that I love and enjoy being around. They’re lives are fantastic! They never fight, they smile a lot and do funs things, and they NEVER forget to take pictures of it and share it with the rest of the world.

Now, I’m sure you’ve read or discussed, or heard about this happy-moment-sharing epidemic that our generation gets to face unlike any other generation. I’m sure you have heard the argument that you cannot compare the bloopers and outtakes of your life to the highlight reel of someone else’s. And yet, how can we help but compare when you’ve just had a disagreement with someone and you turn to instagram and see other people who seem happy, thankful, and overall better-than-you all the time?

Well I’m not better than you. My husband and I annoy each other, we have disagreements, and some dates turn into grudge matches. I have my bouts with mood swings, discouragement, fears and worries. Some days, I have to stop and fill my car with gas, which is not my favorite thing to do and I do not advertise it to the world wide web. I dislike grocery shopping, my pantry is not perfectly stocked for the next 6 months and I absolutely refuse to coupon no matter how many pinterest posts tell me I can actually MAKE $10 by doing it.

These are just a few of my tidbits of reality. And while I just told you some of the unpleasant, unadvertised moments of my life, I’m happy to tell you that I have a really great life despite all of that.

My husband and I both admit that we are “bad at facebook”. By this we mean that we rarely post anything to social media. We often forget to take pictures when we are on cool dates or having a really great time with friends. Forgetting the picture means we didn’t post it but it does not mean we forgot the moment.

Today I encourage you to leave your phone at home or shut off your 4G network or wifi while you are enjoying a moment. Relish the moment, build a relationship. I’m not saying to never post anything again, but don’t miss out on anything either, by posting it.

But most of all I want you to know that I’m flawed and have a list of failures and annoyances a mile long. We all do. I have to remind myself that I’m not the only one like this as I scroll through a feed. And if you ever forget that, just come on back here, I’ll be here with all my STUFF and ready to remind you what reality looks like in this awful, beautiful mess.


From Steve Chandler

Periodically my Dad will forward me e-mails he receives from Steve Chandler’s newsletter. I am not familiar with everything this man stands for and from my understanding he is not a professing Christian. But there is so much to be learned from the deep thinkers of our world, Christian or otherwise. Have you ever watched movies or read books and seen the Christian theme despite the lack of “Christian” actors, directors, script, or title? My Dad has made it a habit to recognize these things and point them out to us kids as we grew up. While many people do not accept Jesus as their Savior, some may simply be ignorant while others refuse, everything ultimately turns back to Christ, His morals, lessons, and Truth.

With that being said, I would like to share with you one of Steve Chandler’s excerpts now:


So what are you thinking that makes you so afraid?

“Well, I’m thinking I could go out of business…”

Well, OK, you could go out of business. Are you thinking you are likely to go out of business?

“Let me look at that. Probably not likely.”

All right, it’s good to identify that you’re not likely to go out of business, that’s different than I will go out of business.  We’re starting to dismantle this thing.  We’re starting to undo it.

Now what if you did go out of business? Could you handle it?  What would your life be like?  Would your life be ruined forever?

Is there a chance you could re-build in another professional format that would be even stronger? Let’s always make friends with the worst case scenario so that it doesn’t bother you anymore… that it doesn’t slow you down and keep the brakes on all day.

Because if you are really honest with the thought that is causing the fear, and you really stay with it, and look at all the different variations and permutations, that very thought loses its power. Because it loses its truth. And you soon see it’s just a thought. And thoughts have no reality.

Once you see that, you are free to go out and create the reality you want.

Steve Chandler