Failures & Facebook

I write a lot of blogs about things that I know, lessons that I learn, and ideas and concepts that I’m pondering. The majority of these blog postings have conclusions. My thoughts, and then the conclusion I’ve come to on a specific matter. What I fear that I don’t write enough about is my failures, insecurities, and shortcomings. Not that you want to know what all of those are and just how screwed up that I am and not that I want to expose everything to the whole world. But I do believe it is necessary to exploit some of these as a writer and for you as a reader.

Lately, I’ve noticed a lot of pictures on facebook. Being a “young married couple”, we have a lot of other “young married couple” friends. Naturally, we are friends with all of these lovely folks on facebook and other social networks. Lately, I have gotten irritated with all of these sweet people that I love and enjoy being around. They’re lives are fantastic! They never fight, they smile a lot and do funs things, and they NEVER forget to take pictures of it and share it with the rest of the world.

Now, I’m sure you’ve read or discussed, or heard about this happy-moment-sharing epidemic that our generation gets to face unlike any other generation. I’m sure you have heard the argument that you cannot compare the bloopers and outtakes of your life to the highlight reel of someone else’s. And yet, how can we help but compare when you’ve just had a disagreement with someone and you turn to instagram and see other people who seem happy, thankful, and overall better-than-you all the time?

Well I’m not better than you. My husband and I annoy each other, we have disagreements, and some dates turn into grudge matches. I have my bouts with mood swings, discouragement, fears and worries. Some days, I have to stop and fill my car with gas, which is not my favorite thing to do and I do not advertise it to the world wide web. I dislike grocery shopping, my pantry is not perfectly stocked for the next 6 months and I absolutely refuse to coupon no matter how many pinterest posts tell me I can actually MAKE $10 by doing it.

These are just a few of my tidbits of reality. And while I just told you some of the unpleasant, unadvertised moments of my life, I’m happy to tell you that I have a really great life despite all of that.

My husband and I both admit that we are “bad at facebook”. By this we mean that we rarely post anything to social media. We often forget to take pictures when we are on cool dates or having a really great time with friends. Forgetting the picture means we didn’t post it but it does not mean we forgot the moment.

Today I encourage you to leave your phone at home or shut off your 4G network or wifi while you are enjoying a moment. Relish the moment, build a relationship. I’m not saying to never post anything again, but don’t miss out on anything either, by posting it.

But most of all I want you to know that I’m flawed and have a list of failures and annoyances a mile long. We all do. I have to remind myself that I’m not the only one like this as I scroll through a feed. And if you ever forget that, just come on back here, I’ll be here with all my STUFF and ready to remind you what reality looks like in this awful, beautiful mess.

From Steve Chandler

Periodically my Dad will forward me e-mails he receives from Steve Chandler’s newsletter. I am not familiar with everything this man stands for and from my understanding he is not a professing Christian. But there is so much to be learned from the deep thinkers of our world, Christian or otherwise. Have you ever watched movies or read books and seen the Christian theme despite the lack of “Christian” actors, directors, script, or title? My Dad has made it a habit to recognize these things and point them out to us kids as we grew up. While many people do not accept Jesus as their Savior, some may simply be ignorant while others refuse, everything ultimately turns back to Christ, His morals, lessons, and Truth.

With that being said, I would like to share with you one of Steve Chandler’s excerpts now:

 

So what are you thinking that makes you so afraid?

“Well, I’m thinking I could go out of business…”

Well, OK, you could go out of business. Are you thinking you are likely to go out of business?

“Let me look at that. Probably not likely.”

All right, it’s good to identify that you’re not likely to go out of business, that’s different than I will go out of business.  We’re starting to dismantle this thing.  We’re starting to undo it.

Now what if you did go out of business? Could you handle it?  What would your life be like?  Would your life be ruined forever?

Is there a chance you could re-build in another professional format that would be even stronger? Let’s always make friends with the worst case scenario so that it doesn’t bother you anymore…..so that it doesn’t slow you down and keep the brakes on all day.

Because if you are really honest with the thought that is causing the fear, and you really stay with it, and look at all the different variations and permutations, that very thought loses its power. Because it loses its truth. And you soon see it’s just a thought. And thoughts have no reality.

Once you see that, you are free to go out and create the reality you want.

Steve Chandler
www.stevechandler.com

WIN

In May, my brother had to take me to the airport in order for me to get home to Rhode Island from Pennsylvania. It was a great hour and a half ride with my younger-but-not-so-little brother. We had a chance to catch up on each other’s lives and get into some of the nitty gritty of life-decision-making and goals.

While this was a time I treasured with him, he taught me something that I will never, ever, forget. Something that no book I’ve read could have taught me better or some speaker on a stage could have illustrated more eloquently. He taught me about how to win in life. Not just at an athletic event or some specific scenario, but my 17 year old brother taught me how to win at everything.

Driving to Baltimore for a cheap flight is one of life’s necessary evils when you live in southern Pennsylvania. On this route we must pass through a tunnel that is huge and takes you underwater in Maryland. As we entered this tunnel we joked about a few different things and I shared how I don’t mind driving through tunnels as long as the traffic continues to move. When traffic stops is when I’m convinced a tile is going to come loose in the side, water will pour in, and we will all drown. My brother thought about it and then said to me, “yeah, but I always win in those situations.” He continued to explain by giving examples of everybody’s daydream nightmares of bad guys and bad situations. You know, the scenario that runs through your mind of a robber in your home when you are there, a car wreck, a burning home…a flooded, underwater tunnel, etc… Or even the outrageous ones where a tiger attacks in your backyard, or a dragon kidnaps your girlfriend. We all have these crazy, often unwarranted, imaginary, situations that play through our minds. For some of us they are truly imaginary, very fictional and near impossible. For others, they’re very real to us and cause us to fear a great many things and to live very cautious and paranoid lives. For my brother, they cause him to become more confident in himself.

Sidenote: we have always called my dad Superman. I think he truly believes he is invincible. After being with him and his best friend since childhood recently, and hearing of what they did in the cornfields of Illinois, I am starting to think his confidence is justified. The man should be dead or greatly, permanently injured by some of the stunts he pulled as a kid. Maybe my brother inherited his winning/invincible mindset?

My brother explained, that since childhood, whenever those imaginary situations enter his mind and play-out, he always wins. If it’s a tiger attacking in the backyard, he tames it or wrestles it until it’s dead. If it’s a car wreck, he walks away with just a scratch. If it’s a burning building, he gets out safe and sound. If it’s a robber in the house, he takes him out. If it’s a bad guy in a street ally, he shows him who is boss. If it’s a flooding tunnel, he guns the gas pedal on the car, runs, or swims, whatever it takes to get out and he does. Let me note here that my brother, while very strong due to his wrestling training and passion for fitness and weightlifting, has never had any formal training in combat. He has never taken a kick-boxing class, done karate, tai-kwon-do, jiu-jitsu, anything. To my knowledge, he has never even hit anyone in a forceful or angry manner (joking is another matter…he IS a teenage boy). Therefore, his mindset of always winning every encounter with a “bad guy” or deathly situation has absolutely no logical grounding. 

There is a portion of me that wishes to attribute this to all guys, thinking they are invincible and can take on anything, and that as girls, we fear more things because we tend to be more fragile and cautious. But that is not true either! I know a great many boys and men who fear things. And for logical reasons. They do not believe they are invincible and the world and culture actually applaud them for it. Because to the world, to our culture, it means that they are living in reality, that they aren’t being unrealistic or silly. 

I applaud my brother.

He has a great many, very large, hopes and dreams for his future. He just graduated high school and he is about to embark on a journey to make all of these dreams come true, and I believe he will, 100%. Because he has the winning mindset. If he can swim, jump, climb, run to safety and win every battle that confronts him in his mind, then he will win anything he puts his mind to. Whether he puts his mind to becoming a firefighter or being wealthy enough to keep a limo and personal driver, he’ll do it.

So Caleb, get out there and win at life! I believe you will, you’ll do every bit of it. And what you taught me will stay with me forever. Even in the past couple of weeks I have already been consciously trying to implement it into my own thought life. I am jealous that you learned this so early on, but I am appreciative that you did and that you shared it with me.

Go win little brother!!

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Honey Balsamic Chicken

Calling all Foodies!!

Let’s get a recipe on this blog o’ mine. I made these delectable chicken tenders a few weeks ago and promptly sent the recipe to several friends. I am an expert snitcher, by that I mean that I take other people’s great ideas and share them with others. I snitch from their recipes, fashion tips, ideas etc… and try them out myself and then let you know that they are splendid and where to find the details on their sites. So be sure and check out this link for this great recipe and don’t forget to drool over the pictures too!!

 

HBS

http://www.budgetbytes.com/2012/07/honey-balsamic-chicken-tenders/

How to Wear a ButtonUp

Ladies,

Let’s not forget about versatility in our wardrobes as these hot summer months approach. A button-up blouse is a great piece for all seasons of the year and here are just a few options on how YOU can pull it off!

Button up

1 Week on 1 Page

1 Week 1 Page

Click the link above.

Finding new workouts on pinterest is an unspoken hobby of mine. I don’t often go seeking out the workouts, but when they show up on my general feed I’m always interested. If it looks like a decent workout, suitable to me and my beliefs about working out, then I pin it and give it a try next time my brain needs to be told what to do for a workout because the creativity just isn’t flowing. Two weeks ago I gave this workout a try. Now, don’t begin assuming things about me by noticing that this is a link to cosmo. I’m not a fan or an avid reader, like I said, this just came up on pinterest one day and I gave it a try.

The pros about this workout: the whole week is listed on 1 page / there are pictures with the exercise names / times and reps are specified / the chick posing for the pics is like…a real life girl of real proportions actually doing a real workout.

Cons: you will not be the “tightened and toned” version of yourself you envision in your mind after 1 week of this workout / don’t be anxious to try on your little black dress after just one week / it’s on the cosmopolitan website.

Give it a go yourself and let me know what you think! If you can’t fit in 2 workouts in one day (as is recommended for days 5 & 6) just spread it out even more and make the link last you 9 days. OR, do both the workouts when you choose to workout, just one right after the other.

Grab some tunes and the those weights and go get sweaty!